The Sacred Geometry of Loss: A Journey Through Synchronicity and the Shri Yantra
In the ancient wisdom traditions, it is said that the Shri Yantra—a sacred geometric pattern of interlocking triangles—represents the entire cosmos, the union of divine masculine and feminine energies, Shiva and Shakti and the pattern of creation itself. But sometimes the most profound spiritual truths reveal themselves not through study, but through the mysterious unfolding of life itself, through loss, love, and the delicate threads of synchronicity that weave our experiences into something greater than ourselves.
I had been meditating on the Shri Yantra and calling in a lover. Within that time frame I went to a Shri Yantra Puja. A puja is a ceremony where you offer flowers, incense, fruit light (usually in the form of ghee lamps or candles) and iy was here, at the puja ceremony, where I met Antoine, a poetic, brilliant British man whose presence seemed to dance between worlds. When we kissed, I would see psychedelic colors—a phenomenon I couldn't explain but somehow felt connected to the sacred geometry we were studying. Antoine was a devoted follower of Shiva, the lord of yoga, creation, and destruction. Little did I know then how profoundly these themes of creation and dissolution would weave through our story.
The universe speaks in patterns, in echoes, in sacred coincidences that feel less like chance and more like cosmic poetry. When Antoine chose to leave this physical plane, the way these patterns revealed themselves was nothing short of extraordinary. It was as if the fabric of reality itself was acknowledging the transition of a soul who had touched so many lives.
On the day I received the news, I was teaching a yoga class focused on Shiva. During the class, I had a vision of my friend Elsa entering the room—a premonition I wouldn't understand until later when I checked my phone to find her message about Antoine's passing. That same day, my sister-in-law Sheeva (a name carrying its own cosmic echo) was in labor with my first nephew at Alta Bates hospital in Berkeley. When I visited them, I parked in the exact spot where Antoine and I had parked on our last date. In the hospital room, Sheeva offered dates—Antoine's favorite fruit—as if the universe was leaving breadcrumbs of remembrance.
The synchronicities continued to unfold like the petals of a cosmic flower. Later that day, while driving a back route I'd never taken before, thinking of how Antoine and I called each other "Baba" and "Babbette," I came upon a street sign reading "Antoinette." The road led me directly to the location of our second date, where we had once stood kissing before a window with a sign that read "DREAM."
In his final letter, Antoine asked us to print his photo and chant for him as he transitioned. At FedEx, while waiting to print his picture, a woman with a British accent—so like his own—called out, "Excuse me, Anthony, can you send these off to London?" The name, so close to Antoine's, spoken in those familiar tones, felt like a message from beyond. In that moment, I asked Antoine for a sign, and my eyes fell upon a book where every word was covered except one: "sign."
But perhaps the most remarkable connection came through Elsa, whom Antoine had often asked about, knowing we shared a connection through the studio Harmonia, where I worked. After his passing, during a massage session with her, she placed her hands on my heart, i kept having visions of triangles but didn’t say anything. Without knowing about my experience at the Shri Yantra puja with Antoine, Elsa suddenly exclaimed, "When I put my hands on your heart, I saw the Shri Yantra."
The Shri Yantra teaches us that all of existence is interconnected, that the divine masculine and feminine dance eternally in sacred geometry. Through Antoine's transition, these ancient truths revealed themselves not in scripture or study, but in the living geometry of synchronicity—in names and places, in chance meetings and sacred visions, in the way loss can open our eyes to the profound interconnectedness of all things.
In the end, perhaps that's what the Shri Yantra truly represents: not just a sacred pattern drawn on paper or carved in stone, but the living, breathing geometry of existence itself—where love, loss, and transformation weave together in perfect, mysterious harmony. Antoine's journey reminded me that sometimes the most profound spiritual teachings come not from studying sacred symbols, but from experiencing how the universe itself moves in patterns of sacred meaning, especially in moments of profound transition and transformation.
His presence continues to ripple through the ethereal realms, reminding us that love and connection transcend the boundaries between worlds, leaving traces of divine geometry in their wake.
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